I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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