So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
