this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
