just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
