Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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