bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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