Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
