I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
