So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
