if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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