you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
