I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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