He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
