whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
