At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
