her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
