i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
