actually, I'm a sock model
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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