your thong is hanging out like whoa
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
