weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
