Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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