I'm gonna have a badass scar
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
