I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
