my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
