bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
