I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You ate ashes out of my bong
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
