how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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