I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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