i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Sorry my hands just texted you
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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