dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
