he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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