he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
