Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
