2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Randomize
