You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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