I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
