i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So much rum. So many feels.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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