great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
