that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
