he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She announced her abortion via fbk
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
