I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize