whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just found a bag of teeth...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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