Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
