i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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