He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
they're like a gay fantastic four
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
