Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
