you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
