CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
