you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm at about main and main street
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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