wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
