babies were throwing up all over the place
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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