What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
