i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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