If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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