I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
