he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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