I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
