grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
