Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
