true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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