barbara walters just said penis...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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