Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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