You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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