We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
