My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize